• Ashley Turner

Combatting negative self-talk and cultivating self-love

Our words are so powerful, especially the ones we speak about ourselves. So when I think about self-talk and self-love, they go hand in hand. What we speak about ourselves is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves.

The feeling of not being enough is something I think a lot of us struggle with. Not smart enough for that job, not good enough for that promotion, not worthy of a healthy relationship, etc. These negative perceptions can be so detrimental to our well-being.

A few questions to ponder on as we think about self-love:

Is what I’m saying or think about myself actually reality?


What do I want to believe about myself?

Something I’ve really had to accept and acknowledge, is that my value and my worth isn’t determined by anyone else but me. It’s taken me a really long time to get this, particularly when it comes to anything work related. There are often many situations we face in life that will naturally make you question your worth at times, so reminding myself of these truths help keep my thoughts in check: You are enough. You are worthy. You are valuable.

Another way I like to keep my thoughts in check and my mind at peace is reading and journaling. I read a lot of self-help/motivational/inspirational books every month that have definitely helped me in a big way! I also try to journey at least once a week. I recommend using a guided journal if you're new to journaling.

Here are just a few that books/journals I love:

Cleo Wade’s Heart Talk: Poetic Wisdom for a Better Life

Chidera Eggerue’s What a Time to be Alone: The Slumflower's Guide to Why You are Already Enough

Alex Elle’s Today I Affirm journal

Lastly, remind yourself that self-love is a journey! It’s a healing process that takes work and consistency, but changing our negative thought process with positive affirmations will help us on a path to better loving ourselves.

Reflection questions:

What does your self-talk look like?

What are you doing daily, weekly, monthly to cultivate self-love?

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